Sunday, January 25, 2009

Waiting. . .

I don't think I know anyone who loves waiting. From ATMs to drive-thrus our whole society keeps inventing things that make it possible for things to be done more quickly--and supposedly with less hassle. Waiting used to be more of a normal occurrence. Before home computers were so prevalent, if I wrote a letter to someone, stamped it and stuck it in the mailbox, I would know that some time had to pass before I could expect a response. Today with email, I can type out my request and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to have a response back in minutes.

Waiting adds a rhythm to life that's often forgotten. Seed time (waiting) then harvest. Conception (waiting) then birth. There's a cliche that says "Good things come to them that wait", but there's not too many people lining up to find out if that's true. It's often something we find out by being forced to wait.

I'm in a season of waiting right now. And to make matters worse, I can't even really tell you exactly what I'm waiting for except that it's a change for the better. Is it spiritual change? physical change? emotional change? I hope so. I can sense in my spirit that there's something new on the horizon, but that's about it. There's a growing expectancy inside of me that makes it difficult to keep doing the same old same old. It's a little bit like I felt right around the 8th month of my pregnancies. "Let's get this baby out!" But at least when I was pregnant I had some idea of what kind of change was going to happen.

At other times I feel like I'm the baby waiting to be born--I'm growing and becoming prepared to be brought into something new.

But the waiting is hard. To keep going I've needed some signposts. Whenever I plant a garden in the summer I put a little stick next to the rows of vegetables I've planted and then I put a picture on the stick to see what I can expect. I regularly visit and water this place anticipating signs of growth and change.

God has given me some great promises from Scripture for this wait. I have written them down and earmarked them in my Bible. I keep coming back to them and let them water my spirit while I wait for signs of growth, both inside and outside of me, to confirm that change is coming.

I'd love to end this note with a neat and tidy ending, but I'm in process. I can tell you that I'm hanging onto the belief that God wouldn't ask me to wait for something that's worthless. I'm excited to look back on this and know at least in part what the wait was for. I'll keep you posted. . .